


Make Me Stay

by Edie_Sunshine



Series: Just Two Guys [7]
Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-30
Updated: 2012-12-30
Packaged: 2017-11-23 00:35:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/616103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Edie_Sunshine/pseuds/Edie_Sunshine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, Chibs' wife turned up two days ago, their daughter in tow and while this was always on the cards, that doesn't make Juice feel any better about it. He's barely seen anything of the other man since Fiona's arrival, guesses that they're off playing happy families. He doesn't want to think about what Mr and Mrs Telford are doing when their child is fast asleep...</p><p>Set sometime post S3. I'd originally written it before seeing S4. Tried to rewrite it so it would fit but no good at all. You'll have to kind of squint and assume it takes place after the events of S4. Doesn't refer to anything in S4 though so you can probably read without being spoilt if you've not seen that far.</p><p>Title comes from an Ani Difranco song. See notes for lyrics</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make Me Stay

So, Chibs' wife turned up two days ago, their daughter in tow and while this was always on the cards, that doesn't make Juice feel any better about it. He's barely seen anything of the other man since Fiona's arrival, guesses that they're off playing happy families. He doesn't want to think about what Mr and Mrs Telford are doing when their child is fast asleep...

When he's not stuck working extra shifts to cover Chibs, he updates the anti-spyware shit on his laptop, changes their internet provider, downloads a bunch of free accounting software for Bobby to use, and deletes a bunch of files that it looks like Happy might have dumped on there.

At least running across Happy's idea of decent porn gives him an excuse for swearing and slamming the laptop shut, going for beer instead. 

'Snuff, huh?,' says Bobby, handing him a beer and slapping his shoulder. 'Don't worry, it probably ain't real. Probably...' And Juice has to pretend that it's all good, put thoughts of Chibs out of his mind.

&&&

That evening though, Gemma's doing one of her infamous dinners, and Chibs is there with both his girls, and Juice just wants to fucking scream. 

'Hey, he don't mean nothin' by it.' Tig catches his arm, keeps his voice low but still, Juice bristles.

'Keep your voice down!' 

No one else knows, Juice intends to keep it that way. 

Tig just laughs at him, tells him to lighten up and Juice instantly feels like a dick. 

He drowns it in drink, goes and sits out of the way in the kitchen until he can safely leave without causing a stir. 

Of course, Chibs has the loudest voice of any of them, and Juice can hear him and Fiona telling some story about Ireland, and Fi's dad, and how cute their kid was when she was born- the kind of history that him and Chibs are never gonna share, much less be able to tell stories about.

Tara chases Abel into the kitchen, scoops him up and blows a raspberry on his fat little belly. 

She sees Juice and pauses. 'You doing okay?' 

'Sure.'

'Still got residual pain?' 

Juice is about to say no, but actually it's a pretty good excuse for being sat in here on his own. 

'It can take a while for everything to settle down,' Tara says, sitting down at the table, kid squirming in her lap. 'You need to give your body time. Wanna take a nap or something?'

'Nah, I'm just feeling sorry for myself.'

'Okay, but if you need some space, just go, I can cover for you with Gemma and the others...' She's got that sad smile on her face again, like she knows something and feels sorry for him. Hell, maybe she does know, Jax must talk to someone, right? 

He takes her up on the offer, sneaks out the back door and 'round to his bike.

&&&

Barely an hour after Juice gets home, Chibs lets himself in with his key. What the fuck? 

Guy's drunk, just for a change, and it makes him tender and horny. 

He swaggers over to where Juice is opening a beer in the kitchen, wraps his arms around his middle and nuzzles at his ear. Juice just wants to kill him, right now.

'Jesus, Chibs, I can fucking smell her on you!' He pushes him away, takes a pull of his beer. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Chibs roll his eyes and shrug. 

The Scot fetches a beer from the fridge for himself, uses his teeth to pull the lid off, which is a stupid thing to do when Dental costs a fucking fortune. He tosses the cap in the sink, so it can wedge itself in the drain, screw up the waste disposal and piss Juice off... Asshole.

'Fiona know you're here?' he asks, just to see the other man falter. Chibs' expression goes from leering to cautious. Juice is almost glad. 

'Aye... You alright, Juicy? You left Gemma's early.' 

'I'm fine. You should go.' Juice folds his arms, thinks, crawl back to your old lady before I do something stupid.

'It's okay, Fi drove me here to check on you. Told her I'd sleep here-' Chibs comes up short, catches the look on Juice's face. 'Hold on. We havin' a row?' Chibs throws his hands up in the air. 'Fuckin' fantastic!' 

'Oh fuck you!' Juice slams his bottle down on the counter and it tips, spills, rolls to the floor. 

Damnit! 

It's a sign of how pissed off he is that he doesn't stop to clean it up, just storms past Chibs to get the hell out of there. Or, tries to storm out because Chibs' hand on his arm pauses him.

'Hey,' says Chibs, trying to catch his eye. When Juice doesn't respond, he says it again. 'Hey.' 

He rests one forearm on Juice's shoulder, leans in like he's going to kiss him.

The stupid thing is, although he's mad and jealous and whatever, has been for days, Juice is also horny as hell and two days with only his right hand for company isn't the same as... 

He looks back at Chibs and he just wants. 

The kiss starts out sweet. A gentle brush of lips and breath, the kind of kiss that makes Juice go all stupid and weak. Chibs has always been an amazing kisser. Juice thinks it's the combination of patience, good manners and then that dirty tongue...

Then, Chibs gives this little moan, and Juice thinks to himself, is this what he does with his wife? Can she get that noise out of him as well? And Juice is instantly furious.

&&&

Chibs finds himself slammed against the wall, Juice holding onto his cut with white knuckled fists. 

'Come on, Juicy. I'm here now.' He brushes one thumb over Juice's cheekbone, but instead of calming him, that just makes the younger man's jaw set hard.

'Don't.' 

Juice flinches away but Chibs knows him far too well, slides his fingers down to his chin, angles the shorter man's face up to him so he can kiss him again. 

Chibs knows, without looking that Juice will be hard. 

He is as well. 

The last couple of days have been bizarre. It's been good having Kerrianne with him and Fiona is in good spirits, adapting well to the changes Jimmy O's death has brought but it's felt like something's been missing. 

He and Fi have been polite, cordial, but there's no fire there. They're more like old friends than lovers these days. 

He's been thinking about Juice the whole time, missing the jokes and the silliness, the feel and taste of him.

'Don't.' Juice stops him with a tightening of his fist in his cut, his voice little more than a snarl. With more strength than Chibs would have given him credit, he pushes the older man to his knees, holds him there.

&&&

Juice looks down at Chibs kneeling in front of him and it gives him a frisson of satisfaction. 

It's always Chibs who gets what he wants, be it Fiona, or some crow-eater, or Juicy himself, and mostly it's fine, there's not much Juice won't do for him. But right now, Chibs can damned well do as he's told.

&&&

Chibs looks up at Juice and is awed. The kid's jaw is set and his eyes are cold. He doesn't think he's ever been on the business end of Juice's game face before. It's fucking deadly.  


He wonders how far he would go...

Juice's cock is hard inside his jeans and Chibs bows his head to mouth the head through the denim, hears Juice grunt above him, feels him slide his fingers into Chibs' hair, inching him forward. 

He slides his hands up Juice's thighs, over his ass, unbuttons and then unzips his jeans so his cock can jump free and Juice's hand tightens in his hair, tugging him to where he wants him. 

He starts with long licks, up and over the head, just to make Juice gasp and fidget above him. His hands tighten around the younger man's hips, and he slides his lips over the head. 

&&&

Juice has always loved getting head off the Scotsman, loves the way the other man knows his body inside and out, the way he can drive him on and on until he's mindless with it. 

He knows that Chibs gets a kick out of making him into a senseless idiot like this.

Not this time.

&&&

Juice shifts again, his hand tightening around Chibs' ears, pulling him into place and holding him there as he starts to thrust in and out. Chibs doesn't really have a choice now, can only hold still and let Juice fuck his mouth. 

He read something once- God knows where- about how in sex, the submissive is actually the one in charge. Who knows, maybe it's true, Chibs has no idea. All he knows right now, is that this version of Juicy is really fucking hot. 

He's sure he can hear the younger man muttering and snarling.

'Fucking take it, you bastard.'

&&&

Juice feels it building in him: rage and horniness and the power at having Chibs at his mercy. He comes, almost screaming and bent double over Chibs' head, feels the older man gag around him. 

For a long moment he just stands there, swaying, trying to tell his body to do something. 

He can feel Chibs rubbing a gentle circle on his hip with one thumb. knows that the guy is watching him, waiting for him to pull himself together and return the favour. 

Well, fuck him! Juice pushes him away and hauls his shorts and jeans back up.

'You're not staying,' he says over his shoulder as he storms off to the bathroom, feels a stab of satisfaction at the sight of Chibs still kneeling on the floor.

He strips off and clambers into the shower. The water's turned to max but he barely feels the heat. His heart is racing and he feels like he could explode. The last time he was this mad, he'd trashed his own house.

Chibs has been getting the best of both worlds for too long, shuttling between Juice and Fiona like it's his God-given right. And Juice has just put up with it. 

He thinks about the way Chibs and Fiona had sat together in Clay and Gemma's house, finishing each other's sentences and sharing each other's history, a cute little unit that everyone knows about and accepts. He knows he'll never have that, not with Chibs. 

He's nothing to Chibs, not like her. There's no difference between him and the myriad chicks the Scotsman picks up and drops and picks up again on a whim. 

He's always watched the older man, wondered at how he gets away with it- guy gets more pussy than any of them, rivals even Jax. 

Juice has watched as girl after girl has fallen into Chibs' bed and been happy to return to it after how many brush offs. 

And now he's fallen for the same shit, Chibs picking him up and dropping him again like he doesn't matter.

He reaches for the shower gel, flicks the cap off and pours it into his hand and all of a sudden he's assaulted by the scent. 

Nothing special, just cheap stuff from the store, but it reminds him of the other morning, Chibs singing in the shower- loud and out of tune, while Juice brushed his teeth and laughed at him.

Then he remembers the other week, him and Chibs out in the Hills. 

They'd taken a pair of dirt bikes up on the pick up, ridden them around the dirt tracks, through the woods. 

Juice had spent most of the time lying in the dust, Chibs laughing his ass off. 

Once they were both bruised from head to toe, Chibs had tossed him a beer from the cool box in the cab and the two of them had sat on the hood of the pick up, watched the sun dropping out of the sky.

He remembers that they had both fallen asleep on the hood of the truck, woken up bitten to death by the bugs drawn to the headlights. 

Chibs, with his fairer skin, had faired the worst. 

The older man had bitched, whined and scratched all the way back to Charming, and Juice had pulled them over at an all night pharmacy for some calamine lotion, stuck it in the fridge when they got back to his place. 

He'd had to wrestle Chibs onto the bed to stop him from scratching. Laughed at his complaining and called him a big baby. Kissed away his grousing and smothered him in the cold lotion.

That evening had been the happiest, most contented he'd felt in his life so far. 

In the shifting light of the setting sun, he'd looked at Chibs and known the guy was feeling the same thing back. 

Now he feels like a shit. 

He dries off, pulls the bathroom door open and resolves to send a text to say he's sorry. 

He knows he's gonna spend the rest of the night feeling anxious and guilty.

&&&

Chibs watches the other man storm out and slam the door behind him, sighs and gets to his feet. 

In the kitchen, Juice's stupid cat pads across the floor, licks up the beer spilt from the beer bottle. Well, that's something at least...

He's damned if he's gonna walk home at this time of night and he's not waking Fi to come get him, doesn't need the guilt or the pity. 

He looks at the couch. It's better than his own, the springs still work for starters. Not what he'd had in mind though.

&&&

Juice comes out of the bathroom to find his bed is already occupied. 

Chibs is slumped against his pillow, blowing cigarette smoke out of the open window, just like normal. 

Oh. 

He looks like he hasn't slept for a week.

'Hey.' Juice pauses, feels like a total jerk. 

Chibs stubs his cigarette out, tugs his pillow down a little so he can lie down. He eyes Juice cautiously. 'Alright?' he says, waits a bit. 'Want me to go sleep on the sofa?'

'Nah... You won't fit.' Juice wanders over, climbs in and hears Chibs snort. 

His pillow isn't in the position it normally is. Juice looks at it suspiciously, sees a shadow, it feels damp.

'Did you jack off on my pillow?' Another snort of laughter. 'Jesus, Chibby!' He picks the stupid thing up and launches it across the room in the direction of the hamper. 'You're fucking gross!' 

He lies back in the bed, without his pillow and it feels really weird. He folds one arm under his head and it still feels wrong. 

'I'm sorry,' he says to the ceiling, feels Chibs shrug beside him. 'No, come on, I'm sorry. I was acting like a dick...'

'An' I wanked on yer pillow.'

'Yeah... You okay? You look tired.'

'I am tired.' Chibs turns to look at him, reaches around awkwardly to whisper his fingertips over Juice's forehead. 'Don't sleep right on my own.'

Huh? Juice sits up. 'What do you mean? Chibby, where are you sleeping?'

'On my sofa,' Chibs says, like it's obvious. 'The girls've got my bed.' 

Juice is going to Hell. 

He groans and lets his head fall back onto the mattress. 

He closes his eyes so he doesn't have to look at his poor, sleep deprived lover, who gave him head even though he was being a shit, and had to jerk himself off afterwards because Juice was in too much of a snit...

'Here,' Chibs says, shoves him aside and puts his own pillow under Juice's head. 'Yer neck'll start hurting if you sleep like that.' 

'Chibby, would you stop being so nice? Jesus, I am such a fucking.... wanker!' 

There are some words you can't say with an American accent. 

It sounds stupid to Juice's own ears and makes Chibs roar with laughter and Juice can't help himself from smiling. 

He reaches over and pulls the older man closer, gets him to pillow his head on his chest and loves the contented sigh Chibs gives. 

The two of them lie in silence for a long moment. Juice can't just leave it be though, he needs to try to explain.

'I got jealous,' he says to the ceiling and Chibs snorts.

'Yeah, I guessed that. Idiot.'

'Well, I had good reason! Thought I had good reason...' 

'Juicy.' Chibs sits up, rolls over to prop himself on one elbow. 'Thought we were okay with-'

'It's not pussy! Fi's not pussy, she's-' Juice sighs, wishes he'd just kept his mouth shut.

'She's what?'

'She's your wife. You've got a wife, Chibby! It's different, it's- I dunno, I just...' 

Chibs looks puzzled, stares at him like he's grown another head. 

Juice can't meet his eye, fiddles instead with the cigarette burn Chibs left in the duvet a while back. 'She's... You're fucking in love with her an' it makes you sad, and I fucking hate seeing you like that.' 

'Juicy...' Chibs slides a hand into Juice's and shakes it to get him to look at him. 'Hey, look at me. You're a fuckin' numpty, you know that, right?' He hauls him close and brushes a kiss over his temple. 

'I've not been in love wi' Fi for years,' he murmurs and rolls onto his back so he can cuddle Juice against his chest. 

Juice doesn't know what to say. He thinks back to that night on the hood of the pick up, Chibs fingers brushing a spiral into the palm of his hand, his gaze soft in the half light.

He thinks about all of those nights in the hospital with Chibs wedged into the horrible visitors chair, his eyes red and puffy. 

He thinks about Chibs telling Jax he'd rather leave the Sons than leave Juice....

Shit.

Chibs is quiet beneath him, his heartbeat strong and steady, like he's not just said something to rock Juice's world. 

Juice thinks that maybe he's found the thing he's spent his whole life kidding himself doesn't matter. 

He thinks maybe this is an end credits moment and that it would be great if they could just remain like this, paused forever- perfect.

Then he feels the other man shifting around. 

'You just took your pillow back, didn't you?'

'Aye. You'll have to go without.'

'What about my neck?' 

'Penance, Juicy.' The older man folds his pillow in two and punches it a couple of times for good measure. 'For leaving me with blue balls...'

'You know, that's actually a myth.'

'Tell that to my poor bollocks.'

'Well, I would, if you hadn't jacked all over my pillow...' Juice aims a swat at the other man's hip and Chibs makes no reply, he's too busy laughing. 

&&&

Later, when Chibs has slept his requisite four hours and got up for a smoke at the kitchen table, leaving Juice with custody of bed, duvet and pillow, Juice lies there and grins at the ceiling. 

He has no idea what the Hell they are but one thing he does know is that it matters to Chibs at least as much as it matters to him.

**Author's Note:**

> Make Me Stay by Ani Difranco
> 
> i'm gonna turn  
> and walk away  
> you can wait  
> till i am far along  
> then run and come  
> and catch my arm  
> and say you'd die  
> if i were gone  
> i want to hear you  
> call my name  
> it's too easy  
> just to say it soft  
> i don't like my language  
> watered down  
> i don't like my edges  
> rounded off
> 
> i can't always wait  
> for your circumstance to improve  
> love is loose it  
> shifts each time you move  
> go ahead, put my back  
> against the wall  
> give it all up  
> or don't give it to me at all  
> you never know this could be  
> our last night  
> so step back  
> step back into the light  
> so i can see your silhouette  
> i'm not done looking yet
> 
> save the profile for the camera  
> give me your eye to eye  
> i know all your secrets  
> and you know all of mine  
> mostly i don't go  
> for the soft focus and the fantasy  
> i need something real  
> i can think  
> and say and see so
> 
> i'm going to turn  
> and walk away  
> you wait till i am far along  
> then run and come  
> and catch my arm  
> and say you'd die  
> if i were gone  
> yes i'm going to turn  
> and walk away  
> you can watch me go  
> or you can make me stay


End file.
